<aside> 🌃 21 년 07 월 05 일

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Seyoon and I had been together for a few years when we came up with a full proof system. Him and I were both terrible at voicing our feelings, especially when we were sad, leaving the other in the dark as to the emotional turmoil we were in. We had found a small rock at the park we had our first date and brought it home as a memory piece and when we ran into this problem we came up with a solution.

Seyoon and I painted both sides of the rock, one side blue with lightning and gray skies, and one side yellow with a sun and happy white clouds. When we weren’t feeling well or were just having a bad day, we would flip the rock so it rested on the blue side, indicating to the other that the day wasn’t going so well. It worked perfectly and usually ended with the two of us sitting in each other’s company just being there for the other.

It was a year after this invention that we had our daughter. She was quiet and reserved like the two of us, making it difficult for Seyoon and I to understand what she needed and wanted. We introduced her to our little rock when she was old enough to understand, explaining that if she was ever upset she could turn the rock to the blue side and that mommy and daddy would do what they could to make her feel better. She used the rock well and it made it easy for Seyoon and I to help her through her sad days. She always felt really excited to turn the rock to the rock from blue to yellow, indicating she was happy again.

One day I came home, having left her with Seyoon while I picked up some groceries. I felt a sadness wash over me when I saw the painted rock on it’s blue side, making me wonder what made my daughter sad. I wondered if Seyoon had seen it yet and make a quick run to her room to find it empty. I feel some relief, thinking Seyoon was comforting her in our room where she often liked to sit in when she was sad.

I make my way to Seyoon and I’s room, hearing soft voices from behind the closed door. I knock once before entering, seeing Seyoon and our daughter one the bed looking through paintings they had painted together.

“Look how much I improved daddy.” She looks up at him, making him smile.

I felt my heart ache, however, when I recognized the sadness in my husband’s eyes. It wasn’t our daughter who was sad, it was Seyoon and she saw the rock and came to comfort him. Seyoon looked up at me, his eyes soft as he gives me a sad smile.

“Hey Honeybee.”

“Mommy!” Our daughter jumped off the bed to give me a hug, making me laugh. When she reached me she told me to come closer so she could tell me a secret. “Daddy is a little sad, can you distract him while I go get him a juice box?”

“Yes I will.” I smile at her, her smiling back before she’s off to the kitchen.